Thursday, February 3, 2011

Words are a funny thing.

I know it has been a while since my last blog post, but I do live with more than one internet addict, and I have been reading a lot and...oh, you know. Having overwhelming laziness overtake whole days.

I do have a few new events to share with you though.  Mostly revolving around words this time.  Or the times when words don't work.  I happen to be from the south and some phrases here just get under my skin.  I don't mind them for what they are, but the repetition of them can drive me crazy.  Especially when the phrase can mean different things, I end up not knowing what exactly is going on.  If someone here up north happened to ask me if I was "all set," I honestly don't know the appropriate response to that because I don't know what they're asking.  Seems stupid, huh.  Well, let me put you in my situation and see if you change your mind.

I was at work a few weeks ago, I was the one assigned to work register, while my manager Bob was taking care of a transaction only a manager could do...when Mammoth (we'll call him) decided to just stand at a register (to snag my customers, therefore stealing my sales).  See?


Remember now if you will that I'm the one on registers.  Mammoth is just being a dick taking my add-ons and up-sales.  So Bob's customer comes back followed by a guy that stands a good 6 feet behind her.  If he was in line, he would come to my register.  Right?  But Mammoth tries to pull him over to his register with the question "Are you all set?" (In this case, that means "are you ready to check out?")
Since he was with Bob's customer he doesn't need to pay for anything.  "I'm all set," here means "I'm just waiting for her, I need no assistance."


So I'm angry at Mammoth's interference with my responsibilities and I'm attempting to tell him I've got it covered up front when another customer walks up, but stands behind the guy waiting for his lady friend.


He ignores me and once again asks "all set" which means "are you ready to check out."  Miss Yellow is concerned because Mr. Blue was there first.


"He's all set."  Which means, he does NOT need to check out.  This means now that the Miss Yellow is all set.  Whatever.  I'm ready to tear my ears off just to get Mammoth's blubbering voice to stop with that god-awful phrase.  I'm not even mad that he took my customer anymore.  But just when I thought it was safe...

Wait...now being "all set" means "finished with a transaction and ready to leave the store."  I can't do this.



On a lighter note though.  Sometimes words can make you think things that make the situation funnier than it really is.  I was eating sushi at a Thai restaurant with a few people when one of them starts playing with the chopsticks.


I ignore it for a minute, because guys will be guys.  I'm not the most patient of people sometimes.



Ok, so the tapping stopped, but I was still in for it.



OK, so now I'm trying my best not to laugh too loudly.  You guys get the joke, yes?


Not always are words the most important part of an interaction.  My brother and I were sitting on the couch watching a movie.  Just hanging out...see?


After a few minutes, my new puppy tried to jump on the couch.  She's still really young and rowdy and hyper and irritating, so I didn't want to hold her.  I just give her head a nudge so she'd get down.


Wow, she listened.


But not for long...


She scratched the hell out of my leg trying to get up so I had to knock some sense into her.


She seemed like she got the message, but was still pretty twichy.  Maybe she'd stay off me and the couch.  Silly me.


Good GOD!  She must have RABIES!  Or, I knocked her retarded.  I recently read a book where a woman was knocked insane, and after another head injury she was back to normal.  Maybe that would work here. Though, I could just be making excuses to smack her.  She scratched me again and I was worried she'd tear up my leather couch.  I was pissed.


Seeing red, I was.  She never listens.


Evidently, my brother was too.


He kneed Delilah in the head, but I slapped the hell out of his leg.



Oh, and let me introduce you to my brother, Bub.  He will be gracing this blog a few more times I'm sure.  Our adventures deserve some blog recognition.

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