Some Things Should Not Happen

I like to think I'm an OK driver.  I pay attention, follow the traffic laws, and most importantly, I'm a defensive driver.  This means I watch out for other people doing stupid things, even if I have the right of way.  Let's test some common sense.

OK, so this is a basic diagram of an intersection I drive through every day when I pick up my daughter after I leave work.  I'm usually caught by a red light in lane A.  So I wait my turn with my left turn signal on.  Assuming the red dots are red lights, and the green arrows are the green arrow lights for lanes A and B, it is correct for lanes A and B to accelerate and turn left and go about their business, right?

No.  It is not correct.  Before accelerating and turning left, you must check the other lanes for on coming traffic.  No matter how red their light is, you must still check.

It is necessary for you to check the other lanes, because lane C is frequented by unsafe drivers, also known as idiots.  Before I drove off from my position in lane A, I was cut off by a car turning left from lane C.  Not only was I cut off by some jerk running a red light in lane C, well...just look.

I was cut off by THREE FREAKIN' CARS!  All while my light was green...and theirs was red.  Red does still mean stop.  And while sitting there thinking of the injustice of the whole situation, I became more and more upset.  By the time Car 3 drove by my car, this is the view they had of me in my car:

Situations like this should not happen.  I never once set foot into a drivers' education class, but I have the common sense to stop on red and go (after checking my surroundings) when the light turns green.


Another situation that shouldn't happen is hitting a little closer to home.  Actually, this happened in my home just the other day.

This is my little girl's room.  Messy...always covered in books, blankies, anything that can be used in arts/crafts, toys, and anything she pulled out of her closet.  In a moment of incredible discipline, I decided to clean my house.  I cleaned her room and started catching up on laundry.  This is a big deal.  I really dislike laundry.  It was worth it.  I like for Silly Bug to have a clean room. 

Looks nice, doesn't it.  Silly Bug was excited about it because she was helping Mamma pick up the toys and other things she left in her bedroom floor.  She likes being helpful.


I finished cleaning Silly Bug's room and took her dirty clothes and blankies into the laundry room where I started folding the freshly dried load of laundry straight out of the dryer.  About that time I hear Silly Bug yelling to me.

I don't mind letting her have snacks.  I even have a whole section in the door of the refrigerator full of things she's allowed to have for snacks right where she can see them.

When I heard her open the refrigerator door, I didn't mind.  Not only does she like to be helpful, she also likes to feel independent.  So I finished folding the last few items in the dryer (because if I didn't do it then, I wouldn't do it EVER) before I went to see if Silly Bug got her cheese snack.

Here's the part that shouldn't happen.  I find Silly Bug in her newly cleaned room.  She didn't have cheese.  She didn't have any of her designated snacks...

...and she had made a very big mess.

My motivation did not endure.  I cleaned up the eggs...but the rest of the laundry and her egg covered jammies got as much attention as the red light in lane C.

Work

I've mentioned a couple times that I really dislike my job.  I figured I might as well get it out of the way and tell you why.  For one, I have a college degree I'm not using.  For two, I'm in retail.  The rest should be self explanatory.  Outside work, I'm pretty cool.  At work, I believe my happiness drains as soon as I clock in.  Visual aid is hardly necessary...but here goes.

I wouldn't say that it's just working in general that makes me less than blissful.  I don't like the general masses of people I have to deal with every day.  Not to say I'm antisocial and mean; I have actually had some great conversations with customers who come in the store.  Talking about good movies, good music, and zombies all day...yeah, there are way worse ways to throw away my potential in life.  There are those fair few, though.  You know the ones.  The creepers that don't respect your personal space or the hag with death breath.  Those are bad enough, but then the simpletons come out to play.

I will admit, I'm always tempted to say no.

Enough about how the general mall-going public can suck.  Let's talk employers.  As soon as I walk into the store on my first day back to work since my non-biological sister's visit, my boss says, "Jeni, read this over and sign it.  One more strike will result in termination."  Yeah, sure, I don't really think it'll break my heart.  I've never kept a job for more than 6 months (except the one at the funeral home that didn't pay me).  The next day:

So, they are seriously ready to fire their most recent Employee of the Month.  Whatever.  I can sell people anything as long as I have time to talk to them, and no manager standing around.  It seems every time I make any kind of mistake, my 2nd in command manager is around and she yells at me in front of customers and I'm really f***ing sick of it, but I have these things called responsibilities, and unfortunately, those responsibilities require money.  I can't quit.  I just quit my last job 3 months ago.  However, if the bookstore I just applied to calls me back, ZOOM!  I'm out.

Keep Your Excitement Under Control

I know it can be difficult for one to contain one's excitement.  Sometimes that excitement becomes apparent to those around you.  When that happens, it is possible that the situation can become awkward, embarrassing, or as I'm about to illustrate for you, shocking. 

I'm a good cook.  I'm not an Iron Chef, but for a home cook, I can do magic.  My non-biological sister came to visit me recently and I had made a pumpkin pie.  Let's watch as the scene unwinds.

After watching a bit of Iron Chef (the original one), we headed to the kitchen in a team effort to secure a piece of pie for each of us.

We grab some of the necessary supplies, like plates and forks, but she was standing in front of my knife drawer.  I have no problem asking for help when I need it, so I asked her to grab a knife for me to slice us some pumpkin pie.

Watch closely, here you're going to see her excitement hit a high note and become apparent (not that I blame her; even my pie crust recipe is flawless).

After the initial shock of seeing her with a knife fit for a 2 lb steak mean for a pie you could cut with an uncooked noodle, I laughed so hard I cried.

Moral:  Keep your excitement at a low simmer or uncontainable laughter will ensue.

Spider Nest

I'm not a big fan of work.  I actually really dislike my job.  I usually go out to my car while on break and read or play around on the internet via my phone for half an hour.  It's much needed relaxation and stress relief at it's best.  Today, I went out to my Explorer and got my peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of my purse as well as my bottle of water.  All ready to enjoy my pb&j and my book, I felt a little tickle.

Sometimes, a stray hair will fall loose from my ponytail and itch or tickle me, but this wasn't quite the same.

Yes, there was definitely something very wrong with this itch...it was moving...between my boobs.

 

Bracing myself for possibly the worst case scenario, I glance down.

Yes, as you may well have guessed by the picture or at least the blog title, it was a freaking spider.  I flailed, jumped, smacked at my boobs, and genuinely freaked out.  I'm not afraid of spiders...I'm afraid of spiders on my bare skin.  Especially the skin of such sensitive nature.

Not only was my pride and dignity squashed in the floor board of my Explorer, so was my sandwich.  Dammit.  This is all to say nothing of the crappy day I had at work inside the actual building.